Tuesday was my university’s birthday. The original significance of this was that I had to be at school at 7:50 am (twenty minutes earlier than normal) on account of my committing myself to take part in a “walk” with my fellow classmates and teachers.
That morning proved me wrong. I was sure everyone was lying and Tainan never got cold, but that morning was cold. Perhaps I have just become accustomed to warmer weather over the last few months, like the locals. Anyway, I sported my Mont-Bel synthetic fleece out the door, and was happy about my decision.
The participants of the “walk” were grouped by department. So we had our own Chinese Language Center group. We all were given free t-shirts and flags that corresponded to our respective home nation-state-countries. I had a United States of America flag because I am from the United States of America.
The “walk” itself took place in the school’s stadium. We waited on the track for a long time before haphazardly organizing ourselves into rows of six and walking almost half way around the track. Then it was done – for us, anyhow. The other groups, after this epoch journey almost half way around the track, seemed to be placing themselves on the field in an organized manner. There was to be a long speech. We foreigners did not have to stay for the long speech because we are foreigners and seem to be exempt from a lot of things.
But whoever was leading our group of foreigners was unaware of our exemption, and headed our group onto the field. There was obvious confusion at the front of the group, which steadily trickled down to the back of the group. I think something was even said over the loudspeaker about the foreigners. The foreigners were in distress and started going astray. Amidst all the careful planning and obvious organization of the other groups, the clump of very foreign looking foreigners (lots of white people) started trampling across lines and boundaries, running around in circles and lines, every last one of them carrying a bright flag over their head. I think I was the first one to notice the knee slapping humor of the situation, and just stopped to stand and look and laugh like Matt.
I spent the free from class day with classmates, mostly with two German students. The day got warmer and I took off my jacket and we walked around the city for a few hours and ate food and talked. Until today I had been feeling a sense of nostalgia for fall. There still are not any red leaves, but the brisk air, bright sun and slight breeze did me well.
Later there was a kind of Dawg Daze thing on campus. A small festival carnival activities bazaar of sorts. My roommates performed with other Panamanians, singing and dancing and drumming and accordioning. They drew a big crowd, including a Chinese looking person even more enthusiastic than the rest. After dancing to one song, he came up to me, took my hand at about neck height, and shook it very awkwardly. (It was a cross between a high five, a handshake and a kiss on the cheek.) “I am Chinese!” he exclaimed, showing me his official identification card hanging around his neck. I acknowledged his Chineseness, and let him get back to dancing.
After one of the students from Paraguay had me sample some food and asked how I liked it, I responded that it was good, and said it reminded me of papusas from Ecuador. After dancing and shaking hands/throats with the Chinese man, the Parguanian (??) brought his friend over to me. “She is from Ecuador! You can tell her about the food you like.” I obliged.
She responded with a facial expression more expressive than words, and I tried again. No luck. Then she started speaking to me in perfect English. “You must have your countries mixed up,” she said with a degree of accusation. No, no, no. But maybe it’s the wrong name. I thought for a second, and decided that it was the right name, and tried one more time, futilely. “I think you don’t know which country you visited.”
I thought about it very hard, and realized I had said Ecuador and meant El Salvador. I sucked it up and let her know I realized my mistake. The conversation ended quickly thereafter, and I was left standing amid the crowd feeling like a bit of an ass.
If someone were to give me a blank map, I promise I could find both El Salvador and Ecuador and label them correctly. I have done it before (thanks Jackson School). It is not that I am unaware that Latin America is not one country, or that Ecuador is not north of the equator. It is just that I mix those two up with the same frequency I confuse “tiger” and “lion” or “wheel” and “tire”.
But the way she left me, the way she ended our conversation, made me feel guilty – more guilty than if I had called her wheel a tire. And I started thinking about this and I wondered why I had offended her. There was some sort of ego, some sort of national pride, that I had disturbed. How could I confuse Ecuador and El Salvador? “I guess they are kind of close,” she had said.
I do not have to worry about people mixing up the US and Canada, or the US and France, or England. People know where I am from, and it is hard to say how different I would feel about her reaction if people did not know where my home was. Maybe I would be more sympathetic.
Often, when I am sitting down at a restaurant and I make a new Taiwanese friend by virtue of being not Taiwanese, he will ask me how it is I know about Taiwan. The first several times I was asked this, I chuckled. I wanted to say, “Well, you know, you’re right there on the map with all the other countries.”
I have yet to say this, instead explaining that I wanted to study Chinese and I know people that have been here, etc. And now I do not chuckle anymore. It is a sincere question, no joking at all. It is a question borne mostly out of domination by big sister China, but also by many people’s disinterest in affairs outside of their daily life: often my new Taiwanese friend’s response to my explanation of why I have come here is “I thought Americans thought Taiwan was Thailand.”
And, alas, before I came to Taiwan, and even still (from some people, thanks to the internet) I get questions such as “How is China?!” and “You’re in Thailand, right?”
As I was holding my flag over my head, trampling around the field with my classmates like an idiot, no one was looking at me and thinking, “Where is he from?” In fact, I think it is quite the opposite. People look at me, flag or not, and see me first and foremost as an American.
I can have my issues and disagreements with this, but I am not going to change anyone’s first impressions. As long as people understand our little world in terms of nation-states it is probably best that I accept the fact that I am representing some 300 million odd people. So I will study my map a bit harder and smile a bit more and speak Chinese as best as I can – if not for the sake of America, then for the sake of avoiding any animosity between two groups of people whose only connection is a guy named Jonathan Brown that did not know the name of El Salvador.
...
PS
Today at work I was discussing cultural differences between Taiwan and the US with the Taiwanese teacher. Our conversation was revolving around when children moved out of their parent’s house. I suggested I thought it was nice that Taiwanese tended to stick around a bit longer. She asked why the same was not true in the US, and I replied as best as I could. Then, “Oh... So, it isn’t illegal?”
???
I tried not to chuckle, but mustered a “Huh?”
“I thought there was a law that children had to move out, and if they don’t they have to pay their parents.”
This amazed me. She majored in English at university, yet still had this bizarre idea. So I will continue to correct these misperceptions and do my best to persuade everyone I meet that Americans, on the whole, are not that different than anyone else. Yes, yes.
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2 comments:
"I thought about it very hard, and realized I had said Ecuador and meant El Salvador. I sucked it up and let her know I realized my mistake. The conversation ended quickly thereafter, and I was left standing amid the crowd feeling like a bit of an ass." at this point i had to stop and laugh out loud for a while. so much love , jonathan.
"So I will continue to correct these misperceptions and do my best to persuade everyone I meet that Americans, on the whole, are not that different than anyone else. Yes, yes." and i will argue that we are different, but not in a US vs everyone else being the same way, but in the way that each nation creates a slightly different sort of citizen.
i'm sure we'll chat about this more. i think i just accepted that i am a foreigner in france. i wasn't buying into it before at all.. we'll work it out. xx
also remember eating papusas in theo's class with our hands? that seems pretty weird of us now.
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