I am very handsome

I know this is true because the old man who stands behind the counter that is positioned perpendicular to the long line of food from which I was slowly selecting things said so. I trust him because he was able to look at me for a long time while I was thinking about whether I really wanted to add food made from rice to my plate because it was heavy and would add a lot of weight and therefore cost me more. But food made from rice is not very nutritiously valuable and I was going to be eating a bowl of rice anyhow. I was thinking about this for a long time, and he was staring at me for the same amount of time. I also trust him because he said it many many times. I laughed because I was embarrassed or something along the lines of embarrassed and that prompted him to ask me if I understood what he was saying. I told him I understood and he seemed satisfied and that is another reason I trust him and know I am handsome.

Sometimes other people also tell me I am handsome but I do not have as good a reason to believe them because they do not have the opportunity to stare at me while I am thinking about what I am going to eat for lunch.

And I think the lowest point in Tainan is under the railroad tracks. There is a tunnel that goes under the railroad tracks so that you can go from one side of the train station to the other. I have not confirmed this is the lowest point, but seven months of observation makes me think it is. If it is the lowest point it is fitting because this is also the low point of Tainan, or the place in Tainan most similar to Hell. It is more similar to Hell and is the low point of Tainan for a few reasons.

1) It is always 4-5°C hotter in the tunnel than it is not in the tunnel.
2) It almost always smells bad in the tunnel.
3) When Dante went to Hell, which is why we know it exists, he went down, not up.
4) The people that live in the tunnel, like the people that live in Hell, just want stuff from you.
5) The people that live in the tunnel are ugly.
6) People pee in the tunnel.

When I go pee I usually go in my own toilet in my own bathroom and I aim for little pieces of poo that are stuck to the sides because our toilet is an anomaly. It is an anomaly because most toilets in Taiwan are recessed into the floor and you have to squat to use them, which is fine because I have learned how do this without peeing on myself which happened the first few times. The second most common type of toilets in Taiwan are standard Western toilets that people sit on to use, or if you are a man you can use them standing up if you do not want to go poo. These have a reservoir of water which comes out from the top of the bowl of the toilet when it is flushed so that the entire inner bowl of the toilet is cleaned with water. Our toilet looks like a Western toilet but it is not because when it is flushed the water from the reservoir enters the bowl beneath the waterline of the water that is already in the toilet bowl, and swirls and replaces the old water.

Most of the time this leaves little pieces of poo stuck to the sides of the inner toilet bowl because it is hard to have all the poo not hit the sides a little bit. When I go pee I try to clean the toilet bowl sides because they are gross but it is even grosser when I have to clean the toilet with a sponge which no one else seems to like to do.

Maybe the place where all the toilet water goes is actually the low point of Tainan, or the place in Tainan most similar to Hell.

But I do not live there because I am very handsome.